Sleeping Beauty

This is why I need to use charcoal more often.

I got the above image from the film Sleeping Beauty (2011) which for some reason stuck with me. It was twisted, haunting and confusing. Emily Browning played the main character whose motives and emotions were hard to discern; she was quickly retreating from everything bright and normal in her world, and descending into a shadowy, dreamlike void.

I initially tried to do this drawing in sanguine charcoal and this was the result:

Bleurgh. No. Not happy. While I love this medium, it just wasn’t right for the mood of the image.

It took me a large number of false starts before I managed something I actually liked. My bed was completely covered in charcoal too!

I need to do a supply run to get more black charcoal and make more drawings like this.

Nervous

Thinking about what I’m supposed to do when I graduate has started making me nervous. I described what I want to be when I grow up as “I’d like to make a living making things”.

Seriously, Lisette, be a bit more specific.

My issue is that starting things makes me anxious and nervous and a little bit scared. I look at other artists’ work and I wish I could create beauty the way they do, but then I don’t practice because the idea of picking up a pencil or a pen or a paintbrush fills me with an almost crippling sense of dread.

It’s the same with writing, taking photos, craft projects.

Once I start, however, I get swept up in the project and I stop analyzing. It’s only when i finish that I look back with dissatisfaction over what I’ve created.

But, as I read on Jennifer Horn’s beautiful tumblr,

Inspiration is a finicky thing… it’s important to produce work (any work) because it will lead to new avenues of discovery, whereas stagnation fosters nothing.

Yes! I agree! Plus no one gets good at anything overnight. All of the people I admire have been working at their craft for ages. And if my new found desire to practice, practice, practice doesn’t immediately lead to inspiration, then that’s ok. I’ll just copy and doodle until I come up with a groundbreaking idea.

So the posts on here from now on are my attempt to better myself as a writer, painter, drawer, photographer, and crafter.

Let the adventure begin.